no such luck

I am not having very much luck with day cares. It is really discouraging. :[ I am supposed to start a job and I thought this process would be easy...good thing I'm such an over achiever or I wouldn't of started looking for daycares this soon. I thought that I would write a couple addresses out..call about prices and go check out 3 or 4 facilities and boom have a perfect one....no no no. First I am just blown away at the cost...all of the decent ones I mean I'm talking like 15 of them were about 1200 a month. I mean we are more well off than a lot of people and now I'm just thinking...who the hell can seriously afford this?! I found a Montessori school I really like for Kyler but I have to find somewhere for Bell to see if the distance is too much to take them to 2 different schools. My mom isn't too fond of Montessori schools because she thinks they are for hippies...which I sort of am but I like a lot of the differences. She is afraid that learning at the "take your time" pace will mess him up for when he goes to public school like he wouldn't be able to handle "okay you have 1 hour to finish this project." This whole process just boggles me honestly...the price, the choices...ugh. Maybe I am stressing about this even more because I am just so stressed in general about number 1...money. Drive me nuts. We are dead broke and Christmas is around the corner...I don't see a date in sight where we can buy presents. It is a real downer...I mean..I know they are so young and could really care less but it makes me feel like a real piece. Then my car payment gets lost in the mail and is now 30 days late. Great! Willie might pick up a couple shifts bartending or serving a few nights a week just for some extra cash. I feel so useless. Its like I can't go out and get a job right now because we don't have the money to start putting them in day care yet, plus anything I make will go straight to that so its like pointless almost. Ugh! Well we are in desperate need of groceries and before its 10 degrees I'd like to go.