Happy Christmas[the war isn't over]

This is the kitchen all set up, after an hour and few unloving words to my husband :] In the box to the right is a bunch of pots, pans, dishes and play food. Of course I had to make it all perfect so put the dishes up like they were washed, and put some food in the fridge, a pie in the oven...so cute. I am so excited I have imagined all the excited things Ky will say when he first sees it, and the way Bella will ramble on so loud and so fast but no one knows what she's saying! I am more than happy with the turn out that is for sure, somehow because of our wonderful families our tree is stacked ridicously high with presents and at the last minute between all the gift cards people sent we got some really great deals. We are going to my aunts at 9:30 for breakfast, all of us in our new Christmas jammies [ ky and bell got really cute new fleece robes too they will die when they see them] and then we will come home, just rest and play with the new stuff until 5 pm where we will get all fancied up for our Christmas/Italian feist back over at my aunt's! Last night [always on Tuesday's because Jimmy comes and stays here after he gets done working at the bar] we stayed up til about 4 and I totally paid for it all day...could barely keep my eyes open and when I could I had a blaring headache :/ And now here I am again gonna get barely enough sleep. We will have to be up at 8 to open all the kids presents before we head over to my aunt's. I hope I get to wake them up and then mom can see them on the web cam maybe coming out of their room :] The only thing that would make this Christmas better is if my mom dad and sisters were here. I am glad I am not in AZ...I cannot believe it but I love it here a lot...the whole environment and just being somewhere new. They will be here in Feb. Can't wait! Happy Christmas. Peace & Love from your favorite hippie :]

downsizing

Ugh, so Willie and I were talking about when we have to move in a few months [well May or June]. This is a huge stress because we moved to CO with no furniture but our bed, and i mean only our mattress. We have to buy both the kids new beds, couches, and a frame for us etc. Right now we are living in my cousins 2500 sq ft house [she doesn't live here right now...she works for the college and lives in a huge apartment there for free and rents out her house so we are living here until she gets married in July] Will keeps bringing up townhouses/condos/apartments. I'm like we cannot take Boston to an apartment...a/a lot of apartments don't allow dogs over 30 lbs and b/she has a doggy door and has since she was barely 2 months old...so i'm just wondering how that will work. Most people I know say that when a dog is potty trained by a doggy door they will not go to the bathroom inside and just let you know when they need to go out. Plus I can't imagine after living in 2 pretty decent size houses moving back to that lifestyle...yuck! But then he brought to my attention how much money we could save and fix our credit a lot quicker if we did that for a year. I am starting to come around just really dreading it. I know in the end it will get me closer to the dream house I want to be in for many years to come. I know a lot of people who aren't purchasing houses anymore these days until they are in their mid 30s. I'm only 22! No rush you know?! Plus why be stuck in something that you don't see yourself loving in the long run...in this economy. I am kind of bummed about the school system here. In AZ they passed the law a few years back about choice of school...no boundary laws and blah blah...so if the school in your neighborhood is shitty you don't have to pay for that but all schools are first come first serve if you choose to drive 20 miles. Which is what I did with Ky. He went to Madison Elementary because it was the BEST in elementary schools and of course that's what I want...education is number 1. So I will have to deal with getting a permit to send him to certain school...which I hope won't be a problem but the school I want him to go to does have a huge population and is rated the best. That's one reason I want him to attend there but the other is becasue I think it would be neat if he went to the elementary school my mom went to. It's really old but really neat...there's windows at the school in all the classrooms [you don't see this in AZ!] Well this is all I have for ya today...

help!

My hair is the thinnest most awful hair ever. It's very long and I dread washing it. When I get out of the shower...no shit it takes me a good 2 hours to get through it....sometimes more so that my hands don't fall off. I can't even go through it with a brush I have to sit and hand pick out every knot in there...ugh. I don't know what to do. I'm sick of paying or 40 dollar shampoo and conditioner, so I buy the herbal essences long term relationship for long hair...didn't do nothing. It's just overly annoying. Any advice?
So the other night Kyler comes in and says mom I like that green beer, its good for me. and He's really good about not doing bad things so I'm assuming he's pretending...he loves to make pretend food and drinks etc. He says but Bella likes the "no color" kind...which means clear...so I say show me what you're talking about...he had took some sips of the green margarita mix haha but then shows me what Bella tried to get...vodka! Not like I worried too much cuz after one burn in her throat she'd never touch it again...but she spilled it on her shirt and pee you! haha.
Bella just got the cutest princess snow boots and a pair of nikes...I know I know...she does have over 10 pairs of shoes haha.
Finally got our tree set up and we're so ready for Christmas. Everytime Kyler hears the tv or radio or someone say Christmas he bursts.. "Is it christmas!!!??" haha. I am excited to set up the play kitchen downstairs on Christmas eve for them. I know they will love it! I am going to Walmart in a couple days to buy them the double side easel. One side chalk and the other for dry erase. They draw all the time...we never have paper and if we run out well here we come walls couches and each other! Ha. Well lets end with a trip to go shopping...wouldn't be me if I wasn't! :]

sunny is money!

So last week it snowed 3 days straight and it was the first time that the snow stuck to the asphalt...but the day before it snowed 3 days straight it was like 12 degrees so it was definitely cold enough. I love the snow but after 3 days you want to see the sun...at least for the kids sake..but they really love the cold/snow. Anyways so yesterday it all dried up and was sunny and warm enough to go to the park. So we went and didn't even have to wear jackets! It was great and the kids got a lot of energy out. And now its snowing again!
Thank goodness for family..really. I have just been having a mental breakdown about money + the holidays. We are too broke to buy Christmas presents and that's reality. I got a couple stocking stuffers for the kids but I feel pathetic. There was this kitchen at Walmart for only 45 dollars and I really wanted that to be a big Santa gift for the kids...of course the one I really wanted was 300 dollars but not until we have a house where they can have a room only for toys. Anyways so of course my wonderful BABY sister who's already spent like 150 dollars or more on the kids and Willie and I, bought the kitchen and sent it so that it could be a present for them from us. And then she also sent us a fully lighted Christmas tree..talk about feeling pretty awful as her big sister :[ I am young...and this is just a tough time...we will get out of all this and I will be the one taking care of her one day when she has kids and hard times.
I know I'm blessed don't ever get me wrong on that..I'm always being optimistic...blowing the bad things and hard times off because they don't touch all the good in my life but sometimes it just gets hard and its okay to let that show occassionally. I am married to a prince who makes me feel beautiful in my ugliest of hours and I can't ask for more. Plus missing my best friend when she's pregnant with her first is really getting to me too. But I just have to save and make it my priority to be there. Thinking I won't be the one to throw her baby shower...makes me cringe inside but being a realist theres no way I can fly there for a couple days to do that and then go back the next month when she delivers...unless a money miracle happens! We'll see. It always works out....Bella's nap is lasting a little longer but I'm sure thats due to the snow falling peacefully and it being dark outside at 4 pm.

no such luck

I am not having very much luck with day cares. It is really discouraging. :[ I am supposed to start a job and I thought this process would be easy...good thing I'm such an over achiever or I wouldn't of started looking for daycares this soon. I thought that I would write a couple addresses out..call about prices and go check out 3 or 4 facilities and boom have a perfect one....no no no. First I am just blown away at the cost...all of the decent ones I mean I'm talking like 15 of them were about 1200 a month. I mean we are more well off than a lot of people and now I'm just thinking...who the hell can seriously afford this?! I found a Montessori school I really like for Kyler but I have to find somewhere for Bell to see if the distance is too much to take them to 2 different schools. My mom isn't too fond of Montessori schools because she thinks they are for hippies...which I sort of am but I like a lot of the differences. She is afraid that learning at the "take your time" pace will mess him up for when he goes to public school like he wouldn't be able to handle "okay you have 1 hour to finish this project." This whole process just boggles me honestly...the price, the choices...ugh. Maybe I am stressing about this even more because I am just so stressed in general about number 1...money. Drive me nuts. We are dead broke and Christmas is around the corner...I don't see a date in sight where we can buy presents. It is a real downer...I mean..I know they are so young and could really care less but it makes me feel like a real piece. Then my car payment gets lost in the mail and is now 30 days late. Great! Willie might pick up a couple shifts bartending or serving a few nights a week just for some extra cash. I feel so useless. Its like I can't go out and get a job right now because we don't have the money to start putting them in day care yet, plus anything I make will go straight to that so its like pointless almost. Ugh! Well we are in desperate need of groceries and before its 10 degrees I'd like to go.

pointless at first

It is kind of silly to me to be starting one of these right now since I am staying at home with the kids, and check myspace a couple times daily, plus email all of my family/friends regularly so who am I really keeping up with on here? No one maybe. I used to have live journal and write all the time on there. I've always sort of been a writer. It used to help me get a lot of emotion out. These days my husband has helped me see that simple communication can do that. Although when I was writing on LJ I was in my teens..I'm still young but a lot wiser with 2 kids and a husband.
So I have been a stay at home mom for almost 5 years [since pregnant with my first-Ky] and I have loved it. I've actually feared going to work because I was so young at my last job -18 I thought who would seriously hire me now? Luck fell in my lap. My aunt just retired from her job at the hospital but has to get another because she needs health insurance...long story short she is going to be in charge of all the hiring at a new psychiatric hospital being built and she will hire me as a receptionist...at this point I am ready. I am so ready. I have loved the experience of staying at home and truly knowing everything about my kids and their personalities but now its my turn to know me a little bit more....as an adult.
When both the kids are in school, I'd eventually like to go to school myself and become a 3rd grade teacher. Having the same vacations as them and good benefits are major factors in my choice but also, how can you give up the opportunity to change a child's life?!
Daycare is so expensive I cannot believe it! Maybe its just me but all the ones I'm looking at and actually loving are about 1200-1500 a month! I really love Primorose its a private school I'd love to put Kyler in but at this point we'll just have to see how it goes...quit living like a millionaire when you're a hundredaire. lol.
Our credit is so shot and we'd love to buy a home. I'm hoping within 6 months I can have it all paid off and a little saved. It's almost embarrassing.
Well its time to clean up mess 100 of the day and figure out dinner...Kyler has a leash hooked on Bella's shirt and they are playing "dog."